How “unmasking” leads to freedom for autistic and other neurodivergent people – NPR News

Masking is a common coping mechanism employed by autistic people in an attempt to fit into a neurotypical society. Examples of masking include forcing oneself to smile at the “appropriate” times, looking between someone’s eyebrows instead of making uncomfortable eye contact, and suppressing stims like hand flapping, even though they’re comforting. Megan Rhiannon for NPR

Roughly 2% of adults in the United States have Autism Spectrum Disorder – that’s about 5.4 million people over the age of 18. And a lot of them go through their lives “masking.”

Social psychologist Devon Price explains that masking is any attempt or strategy “to hide your disability.” Price’s new book, Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversityexplores masking, and how to “unmask” and live more freely.

In addition to hiding from others, Price says masking is also a coping mechanism. “You know that if you show your discomfort with eye contact, people will find you untrustworthy and treat you very differently,” he says.

Masking manifests itself in two ways: camouflage and compensation.

Camouflage includes behaviors like, “faking a smile, faking eye contact by looking in the middle of someone’s forehead,” Price says.

This is where compensation comes in. Price does this, for example, through scheduling ghost meetings on his calendar to give himself time to recharge.

“And that’s really what most masked autistics end up having to do, because a lot of us receive social input, our whole lives, that there’s something off about us,” he says.

While masking is employed by many autistic people, people in marginalized groups, including women, people of color and LGBTQ+ people might feel even more compelled to camouflage their disability.

“To this day, all of the assessments that we use for diagnosing autism, even in adults [are] still based on how to identify it in white cisgender boys, usually very young ones,” Price explains. “So what that means is, if you’re, let’s say, a young autistic black boy, you are far more likely to get diagnosed with something like oppositional, defiant disorder. You’re more likely to be seen as a behavior problem.”

“If you’re a girl, if you’re a person of color, if you’re gender nonconforming,” Price says, “you’re more likely to be seen as a problem to be contained.”

Price, who is transgender, compares it to how queer people are forced into a cisgender heterosexual world: Nobody chooses to be closeted, but they are born in the closet. In the same way, nobody chooses to wear a mask, but is born with a mask.

Devon Price is a social psychologist and the author of Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity.

Unmasking starts with unlearning shame

Shame is what drives autistic people to feel that they are flawed, failed and broken. Price says he used to go into a bathroom and hit his arms and legs with a hairbrush during sensory meltdowns.

“And I used to think that was something that was so disgusting, creepy and shameful about myself — that I was that out of control,” he says. Other autistic people manifest their shame through eating disorders, cutting themselves or substance abuse.

Price suggests two exercises to start unlearning shame:

  1. Go through one day without trying to read the minds of other people and without apologizing for every action. Autistic people are often afraid of saying the wrong thing because of past experiences, and become hypervigilant about how they express themselves.”Give yourself permission to actually offend someone,” Price says. “Obviously, you don’t want to go around offensive, hurtful things, but accept that you’re not in control of other people’s emotional reactions to you.”
  2. Lay out your home or workspace in a way that suits your own needs rather than in a way that pleases allistic, or non-autistic, people. For one designer Price spoke with, it made a world of difference. “For him, unmasking was, ‘No, I’m going to keep a bunch of fidget toys all over my desk, and I’m going to have a foam roller under my desk so that I can kind of fidget it with my feet during meetings. And I’m going to have a mess all over,” Price says.

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